Angie Atkinson's 7-Step Plan for Escaping an Abusive Narcissist

Step 1: Recognize the Warning Signs

• Emotional Abuse: Belittling, gaslighting, guilt-tripping, manipulation
• Physical Abuse: Assault, battery, sexual violence
• Financial Abuse: Control over finances, withholding money
• Social Isolation: Cutting off contact with friends and family

Step 2: Gather Evidence

• Document the Abuse: Keep a journal of incidents, emails, texts, or voice recordings
• Seek Professional Help: Consult a therapist, lawyer, or domestic violence hotline
• Contact Friends and Family: Confide in trusted individuals and ask for support

Step 3: Plan Your Escape

• Create a Safety Plan: Identify safe places to go, trusted friends to contact, and financial support
• Secure Financial Independence: Explore income sources, save money, or seek legal assistance
• Establish a Support System: Reach out to friends, family, a therapist, or support groups

Step 4: Break the Cycle

• Set Boundaries: Limit contact with the narcissist and enforce clear boundaries
• Change Your Focus: Shift your attention to your well-being, self-care, and personal growth
• Practice Self-Care: Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental health

Step 5: Address Trauma

• Seek Therapy: Process the trauma of the abuse and develop coping mechanisms
• Join Support Groups: Connect with other survivors and share experiences
• Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion: Focus on present-moment awareness and treating yourself with kindness

Step 6: Rebuild Your Life

• Establish a New Identity: Shed the negative beliefs and behaviors imposed by the narcissist
• Explore Your Interests: Rediscover your passions and hobbies to build self-esteem
• Build Healthy Relationships: Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals

Step 7: Stay Vigilant

• Beware of Hoovering: Narcissists may try to convince you to return to the relationship
• Set Boundaries: Enforce clear limits and protect yourself from further manipulation
• Seek Support When Needed: Reach out to your support system or therapist if you feel overwhelmed or triggered

Additional Tips and Tricks

• Use Technology to Your Advantage: Utilize apps for journaling, safety planning, or connecting with support groups
• Practice Self-Validation: Challenge negative thoughts and recognize your worth
• Engage in Activities That Bring Joy: Spend time on activities that make you happy and fulfill your needs

Tables

Table 1: Warning Signs of Narcissistic Abuse

Table 2: Evidence of Abuse

Table 3: Safety Plan

Table 4: Trauma Recovery